Thank you for the thoughtful message. One of the sincerest communications I've had since the funeral. I appreciate your sensitivity. I've been in the onlookers shoes--and I know how difficult it is to know what, if anything, to say.
When N and D lost E, I was awkward in conversation with them for months. I was especially nervous to bring up E, not wanting to remind them of the pain. I'm finding now that I'm on the other side, it actually feels good to talk about the experience--about my boys, in whom I am so proud---I realize not every Babylost Mamma wants to talk, but it is what I am feeling.
Looking back, it's not so much the awkwardness that I regret--as much as the silence. Why didn't I just say I didn't know what to say? A void of words about the elephant in the room was worse--I'm convinced.
The last few days have been some of the hardest. As with most trials, there is a lot of support in the beginning---but sooner or later, everyone needs to return to their lives and things go on as "normal". It feels strange to be a statistic now. I'm just finding a new normal I guess.
Anyway, hearing from you brings a lot of comfort. And I have felt your prayers. I hope you will allow me to be a better friend. I need more voices like your own in my life...
Much Love,
em
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