Your patience requested

as I search for the words...

The Lord brings us comfort when we need it.

Though it may not be how we hoped or thought.

I am grateful for that. It shows to me that his ways are not my ways, as I would have never dreamed of the blessings I've received in the ways I've received them.

Surely I would not have chosen to lose my children to gain a stronger testimony of this gospel. Yet, I personally could never have come to this sure knowledge without this trial, and God knew this.

Friday I woke up in dread. My heart was heavy. My body was heavy. My soul was heavy. I can't possibly articulate the weight I felt. This grief is so closely connected to my physicality and exercise brings up a lot of emotion for me. I ran the entire mile that morning with a constant flow of tears.

Roger and I have a calling to serve the Young Single Adults (ages 18-30) in our church. Because of this, we were able to attend the Saturday meeting at which an apostle, Elder David A. Bednar, spoke. For those not familiar with the Priesthood organization of our church, it is set up as Christ's church in the New Testament--Christ is at the head, we have a Prophet (president), and he has 12 apostles. I have had the privilege to be in apostles' presence before--each instance has been in my greatest times of need.

I won't go into detail about what was said, but at the end of the meeting he pronounced an apostolic blessing upon the congregation--The beautiful, simple truths of the Gospel were brought to the forefront of my mind and I was overwhelmed as I felt of the Lord's love for me and all his children. I know that Christ suffered for our sins, our emotional pains, and even our physical ailments.

At the close of the meeting, Elder Bednar requested the song "How Firm a Foundation", and asked that we repeat the 7th verse.

How Firm a Foundation Lyrics

I am so grateful to know of God's love for all of us--that he knows each of us by name. He is aware of our needs and growth potential and gives us the experiences we need to become more Christ like. I have a long way to go, but I am truly humbled by the opportunities.