Dearest X,

Today was another milestone. First Mother's Day since The Boys.
Bitter/sweet
Foreign
Being at church. Not knowing a soul. Not having Roger to cling to. Oh yeah, did I tell you Roger flew back to AZ? Finishing up business.
When we booked his flight, I was only thinking about my birthday---wanted him here for that. I wasn't even thinking about Mother's Day. It didn't even register.
Most days I don't feel like much of a mother. I'll admit to convincing Mo to stay under the covers with me as long as possible. We make blanket forts.
Remember those? A big floor fan, blowing under a blanket or sheet, held down on the edge by books. We like sewing 4 Full sheets together for a huge fort. Playing Star Wars and using couch cushions as shields. Remember?
Star Wars came out this weekend. I wonder if it's any good. It looked good. I think.
On my birthday I woke up and rolled over to Roger.
"I don't want to go to Sea World anymore. I want to organize".
I knew if I came home from a day in the sun to a disaster of a house and a husband leaving in the morning, it might be the end of me.
And so we cleaned.
I was happy.
We went to Sea World the next day. Mo especially loved the pet show. The PET show. The one with dogs and cats and a pig and birds. He sees all those animals practically everyday. Well, he saw the pig pretty frequently at Grandma's house in Lehi...
I have thought about you. Wondering how you are feeling today. I know it's hard. I for one can't seem to think a straight thought.
emily