Irrelevant/Impressions

If you write a blog, have you ever felt irrelevant in the Blogosphere? I'll spare you the Woe is me details, but sometimes I say to myself, "Remind me why this blog is public?"

It is a bit self indulgent, thinking anyone reads this---I will admit that. Like I've got my own little stage and I'm shouting, "LISTEN TO ME! THIS IS WHAT I THINK! THIS IS MY LIFE!"

It often feels kind of silly.

Then I get an email. And I feel understood. A cyberfriend, I'll call you. I've been lucky to make a handful.

Monday I met my first one. In person. She was just as kind and intelligent as she is over blogging/email---which is just so cool.

Ashley's family lived in Phoenix for the last few years and recently transplanted to San Diego as well. They have raised their boys well, and Mo loved playing with them. I think we'll be seeing more of them soon.

I was sitting on the beach with Mo the other day, watching the waves roll in and out. I was thinking about my life. All the mistakes I've made. I thought over the last year and the growing pains that have come with it. I thought about our boys. All three of them are setting the example for me---of how good I want to be. I am so proud of each one for their individual missions. Then I sensed that I had all three of them with me. I knew that I had all three of them with me at that moment. I had impressions about who they are, what their talents are and how they contribute to our family. I don't know that I ever deserve these moments, but I am so grateful when they come. It keeps me going. Keeps me working to better myself because I have so much improvement to do. I'm excited to be better. Better for myself, for Roger and for our children.

I've been reassessing my direction for the year. I find I naturally do this when the year is nearly half gone. I have not done nearly enough service, so I'm working on that.

My favorite quote this week, found HERE.

"One never knows for sure when one is preparing ground for the future"

-Carolyn G. Owen