Thursday, September 10, 2009

The best post in the universe. Literally.

I signed up for emails about how to improve my grammar. Yes, this is for your benefit. I'm always thinking about you. So Copyblogger shows up in my email today. It made me chuckle. Hopefully I've not offended you with too many of the top 5 mistakes Author Johnny B. Truant points out. You should read the whole thing. Go HERE.
For your enjoyment...
Incorrect use of “literally”
Please don’t do this with a straight face. Not only will you look uneducated, you’ll also look absolutely hilarious.
Example: Kristen Stewart from the Twilight movies recently told a reporter, “I get to do something that literally if I didn’t get to do it, I would implode.”
Now, think about that for a second. If Kristen couldn’t act, she would actually collapse in upon herself like a black hole. I’d like to see that.
I collect “literally” mentions. Britney Spears has been “literally on a roller coaster to hell.” Crowds have “literally turned the city upside down.” And in a particularly grisly turn of events, a mall Santa reported that needy, sad children “literally tear his heart out.”
Whenever you use “literally,” stop and think about whether or not what you’re saying is actually true, in those exact words. If it’s not, use “practically,” “essentially,” or (ideally) “metaphorically” instead.
If there’s one thing you don’t want to be, it’s accidentally hilarious. Seriously, trust me on this one.

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