I woke up to one of those days. It was like having that dream where you rush to pack for a trip but everytime you turn around, the suitcase is empty. Despite wanting it all "simple"--I had been sick for 3 days and felt so behind, and stressed, and sad, and empty.I was missing Christmas.
Day ended and I had half my list to accomplish.
I sent Roger to his family dinner with Morris as I tried to finish my tasks.
I was too exhausted.
I called him in tears.
Roger came home and as we talked, I realized something.
I have put myself, my life on hold.
Waiting.
Not wanting Christmas without them.
Not wanting their absence on my favorite day.
But I still have my love to give and I shouldn't wait to do that.
I am a wife.
I am a mother.
He prayed for me. For our family.
That we might have that peace again.
Enjoy the celebration of Christ's birth.
We watched BYU TV as my eyelids grew heavy.
Finally, I felt Peace. Love.
I opened my heart to receive it.
Christmas is not just a day-
It's a feeling.
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